


A Good Man

by canonjohnlock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Ill dean, Mental Health Issues, under 1k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:09:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6582538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canonjohnlock/pseuds/canonjohnlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a good man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Good Man

Honesty is a weird thing, Dean thinks. Why would you tell the truth and hurt the people you love when you can lie and see them smile one last time? He is not an honest person. It is not because he is a bad person; it’s because he cares too much. Being honest is being selfish, he tells himself. You are stealing someone’s happiness. Lying is easier. Safer. Lying is thinking about others. Yes, he thinks. Honesty is pointless. I am a good person. I lie because I am a good person, Dean tells himself. He is a good person.

Doctors ask you to rate your pain. Ten being the most painful and one being the least. Dean tells the doctor it’s a three even though it’s an eight. Sam smiles and asks the doctor if that’s good. The doctor nods and says yes. Dean smiles, too. Honesty would have made Sam sad. Dean doesn’t like making Sam sad. Sam is sad a lot. If Dean can take away some of Sam’s sadness, he should. He is a good person for lying. Sam is happy, so he is happy.

Sam is an honest person. Dean doesn’t like that. Sam shows his pain. Why does he do that? Sam knows that when he is in pain, so is Dean. Sam should learn to hide his pain but Dean knows he isn’t as strong as him. That’s why Dad made him watch out for Sam. Dad knew Sam was weak and that Dean was strong. Dean is a strong man. Dean is a good person.

Castiel is honest, too, but Dean doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t know how humans work. Dean forgives him. Castiel knows Dean is lying and he tells him to be honest. Dean lies again and Sam looks at him with big, sad eyes and he thinks Castiel understands why he lies. Dean lies again and smiles at Sam but he doesn’t smile back.

Dean decides that Sam is very weak. He is too weak. He doesn’t understand that honesty is very bad. Dean wonders how Dad could have raised such a weak person. Dad would not be proud. Dean shakes his head and remembers what Dad told him long ago.

Dean knows it’s time. Sam does not. Sam is weak. Sam is not smart enough. Dean much watch out for Sam.

Castiel knows what Dean’s plan is. Castiel tells Dean he is sick. Dean says that being honest is very bad. It’s very selfish. Dean tells Castiel that he is sick. Castiel is sick. Dean tells Castiel that soon it will be over. Dean is a good man. Dean is a strong man.

Dean doesn’t understand why they have locked him up. He doesn’t understand why they must tie him to a chair and lock the door. Dean is a good man. They are the bad people. Sam says that Dean is sick. Dean laughs. I am not sick, he says. I am fine. Sam does not smile this time. Dean wonders what went wrong. He lied. Sam should be smiling. Dean said he’s not sick. Sam should be happy.

Dean blames Castiel. He put thoughts in Sam’s head. Dean decides that Castiel must go. He is ruining everything. Dean lies. Dean tells Castiel that yes, he is very sick. Castiel smiles. This is good. You are getting better. Lying always works.

Dean is a good man. He knows what he is doing. The people around him are bad people. Castiel is bad. Sam is bad. They do not understand. Dean does. He understands. Soon, however, they will. Sam and Castiel will learn from their mistakes. Lying is good. Honesty is not.

Dean is a good man.

Honesty was bad. Dean lied.

He was too good.

Sam did not smile when Dean did what he had to. He cried. He looked very sad. Dean told himself they were tears of happiness. Castiel was not happy either. Dean decided that Castiel was sick. Castiel could never be happy.

Dean was a good man. Sam was not. Dean did what he had to do.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You decide what Dean did. It's up for interpretation.


End file.
